This post is going to be a sort of “too much information” post about starting perimenopause, so if you want to skip it, I understand. If not, you were warned, hahaha!
I’m 53 years old. I’ve been blessed with 5 amazing biological children, and 3 amazing step sons and a step daughter. I also have experienced the loss of a baby. I miscarried at just over 8 weeks into a pregnancy, just before Christmas in 2010. Still, I’m lucky to be a mom many times over.
But like all good things, this ‘fertile’ stage is coming to an end. Yep, the dreaded peri-menopause is hitting me. And I refuse to use any kind of hormone therapy. Why risk cancer or other side effects just so I’m more ‘comfortable’ going through this process. (of course, if you want to go that route, I’m not judging, after all, we each have our battles to fight and demons to slay, and if taking a pill or two helps, go for it! I have complete respect for that decision!)
I started the hot flashes about a year ago. They always begin with an upset stomach, then a fire starts to burn slowly from my abdomen to the top of my head. I swear if I looked in a mirror I’d look like Hades from the disney movie Hurcules. I would not be surprised to see my hair on fire, flames shooting out my ears, no, not surprised at all. What’s worse is we live in the Caribbean, very close to the equator, so it’s already hot. I almost, just almost, miss the Canadian winter. It would have come in handy on those blizzard days when instead of shoveling the driveway, I could just roll around on it and let my body heat melt the ice. hahaha.
And if that’s not enough, let’s throw in sporadic periods. That sounds fun, doesn’t it? One month let it come right on time, exactly 28 days from the last. But before we get too comfy, let’s make the next one come 26 days late. Oh but wait, there’s more, the next one will be on time again. But hold my beer, let the next one be 24 days late. Isn’t this fun? I now have 2 wardrobes. One for “just after my period” that I can safely wear without risking an accidental bloodstain, and one wardrobe for “oh good Lord, sweet baby Jesus, I may as well just throw this away because it looks like something from the ending of a splatter film.” There is no in between. Choose clothes wisely. Even undies.
Okay now that things are getting weird, lets add in some extras during the bleeding time just for the heck of it. Bleed like the worst slasher film in history? okay, here ya go! Zits?done! Headaches? done! Mood swings? bring it on! Food cravings, especially for what we don’t have and can’t get? uh huh. Agonizing cramps like never before? oh yeah baby! Tiredness so bad that I gotta sleep at 4 pm or I can’t function? yes please!
I used to think God was a woman, but no woman would ever subject another to all this. Whoever was in charge of creating women definitely was smoking something funny that day.
Oh, and this isn’t even the best part. Are you ready? This goes on for a while. Like a few YEARS. Yup, years sometimes. Won’t that be fun?
So how do I cope? I cry. I sleep. I drink a lot of coffee, eat a lot of chocolate or salty potato chips. I indulge myself with a cold lemonade while sitting in the sun and crank up the tunes. I put red wine in a water bottle and call it “mommy juice”. It’s unassuming, portable, and my neighbours think I’m being healthy by adding fruit flavor crystals to my water!
Don’t judge. All us women go through this. It’s just another stage in life, another right of passage. Laugh, cry, rage, sleep, drink, eat, whatever you need to do to get you through it one crazy day at a time.
Just try not to take it out on our men. After all, they have to deal with us. They’re the ones that are getting our snacks and drinks. They hold us when we cry. They see us in pain and can’t help. No wonder they go bald. But they still love us!
A Joyful Chaos 